What happens when you say the word never? Can you think of instances when you state this word? Let me give you a few:
- I will never jump out of an airplane
- I will never like sushi
- I will never go camping when it does not include plumbing
- I will never go hiking
- I will never sleep in a tent
- I will never settle
- I will never do yoga and be able to calm down
- I will never run a 5k
- I will never meditate
- I will never forgive this person
Guess what? I have said every single one of those statements, those are all real life examples from my very own life, every single one, with the exception of jumping out of an airplane, is no longer valid.
Now this may just be the Brené Brown or Gabby Bernstein coming out but when I use the word “never” it always is in a negative way. There is no positive thinking that occurs when I have used the word never, most often it is from disgust, defensiveness or stubbornness. Over the last few years I have realized how much saying the word “never” limits me. By stating that I would never do something I was preventing myself from being open to new opportunities and lessons.
In another post I’ll talk further but I have dug a lot into mindfulness and how your thoughts create your reality. By stating sentences with “Never” in it I was immediately creating a wall, I was shutting down any opportunities that may come forth. For years I told people I would never do yoga because it was too slow for me, I thought I’d injure myself and that I thought it was boring. Quite honestly I just thought I would embarrass myself with my lack of flexibility and also not get the “body” I thought I wanted. By this sentence I limited myself from being more conscious of my bodies abilities, from a stress reliever, and a community I never knew existed.
I have recognized to not state these sentences that limit my thoughts, actions and opportunities. After dating my boyfriend for two years we had the opportunity to hike Mt. Katahdin. This hike was the second hike I had ever done in my life, lets be honest I had big dreams. I trained for six to eight months (think stair stepper, a lot of the stair stepper) at the gym wanting to ensure I prepared my body for what was to come. Mt. Katahdin was one of the scariest, eye opening, and emotional things I have done in my whole life. It took us 12 hours and at the end I collapsed on a picnic table and cried. Cried from pent up fear from the trail (Knife’s edge, it’s called that for a reason) and from the fact I completed something I said I would never do. This experience was one of the biggest examples I have to date that if I had continued to say “I’ll never do that” I would not have the memories I have now and I wouldn’t be able to count it as one of my biggest accomplishments.
When people ask me if I’ll do something or try something most often my response is “Maybe not right now but never say never”. To be quite honest I thought I would never complete in a obstacle race, this past November I completed my first ever Spartan Sprint race. I found out about it from my friend who was pulling together a team, I read the information, said “Why not, f**k it, might as well” and signed up then and there. I didn’t do it for time, or to see what I needed to improve upon. Quite honestly I can’t say I trained “properly” either but I did it for fun and to see what I could do.
I think when you say sentences including “never” you limit yourself from those experiences. You limit yourself from the potential to say “I did this, I can do it again”. I challenge you to do your best and Never say Never again.