What are you passionate about?

The age old question that you are asked umpteen times in your life.  Whether you are asked in an interview, by your friends, relatives, etc.  It’s interesting that this has come around more frequently as a question as I feel it means we as a society are more concerned with what drives people.  Not just what they aim for in the future, i.e. goals, but things that help wake them up every day and get out of bed.

Recently, in a book I read, there was a challenge to no longer ask “What do you do?” when you are meeting someone but to ask “What are you passionate about”?  I was struck to my core by this line.  It continued on to say that we define ourselves by our job and our title but is that truly who we are.  Our passions are what encompasses who we are and what is left of us when we go.  When you read an obituary, sorry to get daunting here, but when you read one do they say “X Smith was an engineer” and leave it at that? I mean, maybe some do but those I have read do not.  They talk about the individuals passions and what they truly cared about.

I recently had a conversation about passions with a colleague and friend.  She asked me to have lunch with her to specifically talk about my Passion Planner.  When we sat down she brought up that she was asked this exact question recently and she was a little stumped. She asked me my thoughts and I was inspired to write.

When talking with her I told her I am passionate about:

  • Family
  • Yoga
  • My relationships
  • Animals
  • Health
  • Living life

I told her when someone asks me what I am passionate about I think of things that make me happiest.  I also shared that my passions have changed and they will change.  New things come into our life all of the time and others leave.  There are people I know who used to be passionate about a specific sport and now they just don’t care for it anymore.

I do find that sometimes our passions can take too much of our energy.  We get so involved in them with our time and effort that we lost sight of why we are passionate about them. For this reason, if I find I am starting to not feel passionate about something anymore I start making a list. Yes, I AM that list person. Anyways, I start making a list of why I was passionate about it in the first place. If for some reason none of what is on the list rings true anymore, then I recognize it’s not something for me.

I have had things I have been passionate about that have relied on the people I was doing them with.  Which makes sense, sometimes our passions are brought to us by those around us.  This is why I have also taken the time to recognize it is the people around me I also need to be passionate about.

I need to be passionate about cultivating, nurturing and encouraging the relationships I have.  These can be personal or professional, but I find if I don’t also focus on the people then my passion for things can fizzle out.

Passions can be simple things, no one defines what your passions are except yourself.

Instagram: @beyou_findyou
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Email: beyoufindyou@gmail.com

 

Never Say Never

What happens when you say the word never?  Can you think of instances when you state this word?  Let me give you a few:

  • I will never jump out of an airplane
  • I will never like sushi
  • I will never go camping when it does not include plumbing
  • I will never go hiking
  • I will never sleep in a tent
  • I will never settle
  • I will never do yoga and be able to calm down
  • I will never run a 5k
  • I will never meditate
  • I will never forgive this person

Guess what?  I have said every single one of those statements, those are all real life examples from my very own life, every single one, with the exception of jumping out of an airplane, is no longer valid.

Now this may just be the Brené Brown or Gabby Bernstein coming out but when I use the word “never” it always is in a negative way.  There is no positive thinking that occurs when I have used the word never, most often it is from disgust, defensiveness or stubbornness.  Over the last few years I have realized how much saying the word “never” limits me.  By stating that I would never do something I was preventing myself from being open to new opportunities and lessons.

In another post I’ll talk further but I have dug a lot into mindfulness and how your thoughts create your reality.  By stating sentences with “Never” in it I was immediately creating a wall, I was shutting down any opportunities that may come forth.  For years I told people I would never do yoga because it was too slow for me, I thought I’d injure myself and that I thought it was boring.  Quite honestly I just thought I would embarrass myself with my lack of flexibility and also not get the “body” I thought I wanted.  By this sentence I limited myself from being more conscious of my bodies abilities, from a stress reliever, and a community I never knew existed.

I have recognized to not state these sentences that limit my thoughts, actions and opportunities.  After dating my boyfriend for two years we had the opportunity to hike Mt. Katahdin.  This hike was the second hike I had ever done in my life, lets be honest I had big dreams.  I trained for six to eight months (think stair stepper, a lot of the stair stepper) at the gym wanting to ensure I prepared my body for what was to come.  Mt. Katahdin was one of the scariest, eye opening, and emotional things I have done in my whole life.  It took us 12 hours and at the end I collapsed on a picnic table and cried.  Cried from pent up fear from the trail (Knife’s edge, it’s called that for a reason) and from the fact I completed something I said I would never do.  This experience was one of the biggest examples I have to date that if I had continued to say “I’ll never do that” I would not have the memories I have now and I wouldn’t be able to count it as one of my biggest accomplishments.

When people ask me if I’ll do something or try something most often my response is “Maybe not right now but never say never”.  To be quite honest I thought I would never complete in a obstacle race, this past November I completed my first ever Spartan Sprint race.  I found out about it from my friend who was pulling together a team, I read the information, said “Why not, f**k it, might as well” and signed up then and there.  I didn’t do it for time, or to see what I needed to improve upon.  Quite honestly I can’t say I trained “properly” either but I did it for fun and to see what I could do.

I think when you say sentences including “never” you limit yourself from those experiences.  You limit yourself from the potential to say “I did this, I can do it again”.  I challenge you to do your best and Never say Never again.

Instagram: @beyou_findyou
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Email: beyoufindyou@gmail.com

It’s a New Year!

Go figure right?  By the time you are reading this it’s January 8th and many of you have started making yourself a brand new person with your New Years’ Resolutions.

My question is what’s wrong with the person you are? I’m not saying don’t go and set goals for yourself but just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean that’s what you HAVE to do.  If we’re going based off that then tomorrow’s a brand NEW day, why not start whatever resolutions then?

I realized some time ago how new years became a toxic thought spiral.  It’s the time of year where everyone amps up to set resolutions and keep them.  So if they fail at going to the gym every day each week in a month what happens?  Do they give up and say “Well I tried”?  I know many that have and then beat themselves up, all themselves a failure and say “Well I just can’t do it.”  I say to that individual, YOU ARE WRONG! I can do it but you know what?!  Life happens!  You get sick, your schedule gets full, and some days you’re just damn tired.  Well, you are a HUMAN BEING; not a SUPER human so cut yourself some slack, wake up to the new day tomorrow and try again.

For instance, the month of January I committed myself to doing the 30 Yoga Challenge hosted by Yoga with Adrienne. It’s day 5 and let me tell you I have not done the yoga sequence in two days.  Friday I was exhausted from shoveling myself out and yesterday I had a boot camp/yoga event in the AM and a party in the evening.  Getting home at 10pm, while I’ve done yoga that late before, I was exhausted.  So do I feel like crap because I haven’t kept up my end of the bargain? Yep! For some reason I think that Adrienne knows I haven’t done it, that the Yoga with Adrienne community knows I haven’t done it and they’re going to think less of me.  Is this true?! HELL NO!  It is entirely in my head, and if they do feel that way well, it is their problem.

In the few short days of 2018 so far I have realized that my goal isn’t to complete something consecutively per day, my goal each day is to be active in some way.  Whether this may be yoga, working out, hiking, snow shoeing, shoveling (lets face it it is an activity) or simply going for a walk.  I want to be active every day, I want to get my body moving and stretching.

What I am trying to say with this post is set goals for yourself, or if you wish call them resolutions.  Make them every single day, don’t think you need to wait for a new year to occur to create them.  I am constantly adjusting my goals, I have a Passion Planner, that I never thought I would ever use, to help me do so.  My mom had gotten me one as a gift a few years ago and I thought it was a great idea but was entirely confused as to what to do with a blank slate.  I mean literally a blank slate, no dates, no holidays marked, NOTHING! It didn’t even have cute little designs in it.  What it did have were quotes every week to help guide me and suggestions on what I could do that week to give thanks or reach out to those I love.

We may feel that each new year is a blank slate, and sometimes that is true but it’s not because it is January 1st.  It is because we decide it to be, just like we decide that tomorrow is going to be a better day then today.  So I ask of you, know that you are a human being who can only physically and mentally control so much.  Recognize that goals will and can change and it’s a beautiful thing.  Most of all, I ask that you realize your “New Year” can start at any time that you wish; it isn’t determined by the date January 1st, it is determined when you say “It’s a New Year for me” and you choose to start changing and going after those goals.

I can tell you right now that my “New Year” started July 10th, 2017 when I started this blog.  I decided to change and share my thoughts, actions, fears, and life with those who would read it.  My New Year started then as I decided to get out of my shell and put myself out there in an entirely new way.  My New Year started with this blog because I decided then to work on a life goal of creating a community where others felt like they were not alone.

Happy 2018 everyone! I look forward to sharing my year with you and hearing about yours!

Email: beyou_findyou@gmail.com
#beyoufindyou
Instagram: @beyou_findyou